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Chat about a loaded subject that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from old ages. Extramarital relationships can be filled with problems, cause sadness, and other troubles. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.

For the intention of this article I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating wives.

Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are man seeking woman for affair. I am conserned generally though it is just the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.

In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to switch the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos humanity has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?

Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your family or anybody else? You would need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.

No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, very big truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your funds are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.

Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage undamaged.

Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, generally the gentleman is sexually neglecting his woman for a number of reasons. As a man I really appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.

Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is gone, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have simply developed separately, our ordinary concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.

The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.

There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.